Breaking My Silence

By | August 8, 2015

It has been a while since I have written, either here on social media or even on Tumblr. The last post I made on Tumblr was several weeks ago and I stated I would be taking a short hiatus.

As many of you may know from following Kayla, my sister passed away Aug 2. She lost her 13 month fight with colon cancer.

I learned so much from her in that time. She never faltered and she was strong even at the end. As sick as she was she always thought of others and always had a laugh and a smile to give. In the office where she received her  chemo she had Kayla take her to the Dollar Store and bought these huge velvet roses because she knew one of the nurses liked to decorate. She bought enough that there was a flower on each and every IV stand in the room.

When Kayla and I couldn’t give her a ride there was/is a church that stepped in to help. They also took up a collection for her at Christmas time sending her food, toys and clothes for my nephew, and even some financial assistance. She talked of when she got better how she intended to do something to give back to hose who helped her.

My sister was 7 years younger then me; I was big brother. I looked after her and protected her. Oh I was also the big brother that tormented his little sister and don’t worry she gave as good as she got.

Life, family, jobs separated us for many years. After I divorced and I moved to Clearwater we grew closer once more. She was even there and helped on the day I moved Kayla down to help her move her stuff in and get settled.

My sister took me aside at one point and in a very serious manner asked me “Is she a good woman?” My answer more then satisfied her and over the course of the past 13 months her and Kayla built a relationship.

I have heard it said that tragedy can either bring a family closer together or tear them apart.
The major part of my family was torn apart.

I can’t and won’t go into it here, that is way to personal.

In the end my sister was not alone, I was with her and the father of my nephew was also by her side. He went over and above for my sister doing more for her then anyone.

I’m going to get on a soap box for a moment.

Please please please
If you don’t have a will set one up now!
Have someone you know and trust set up as your medical surrogate. No one expects to die young yet no one lives forever.

Have someone you know and love that is willing to carry out your wishes and make sure they know what your wises are.

Make sure you have a living will made out and even a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate)

No one wants to talk about death and dying, it feels morbid and in bad taste.
But these things are so important to have in place.

I witnessed first hand what it can do not to have these things done and in place.

And on top off all this, know your family medical history…if you don’t know ask and find out.

The normal of my life for the past thirteen months has been doctor appointments, chemo treatments, procedures, CT scans, and blood work with my sister.

Now I need to find a new normal.