For #littles and #subs

By | December 15, 2013

I love Tumblr, I spend a lot of time on here; more then I probably should. The ability to express oneself on here in the visual sense is wonderful, for me it is both a way for me to connect with my little/sub and as a companion to my written blog.

There is something I see all to often that disturbs me, I see so many littles/subs/slaves that are taken in by fake Doms/Daddy’s.

They are hurt emotionally and sometimes even worse abused.

Your submission is something beautiful, a most cherished gift because it is the one most precious gift that is being given..you!

There are many good Dom’s/Daddy’s out here, I follow many of them. I also know a good many of them in person from attending local munches.

Give this some thought….

A true Dom will not test your submission the first time talking to you or meeting you. A true Dom should not want you to wear no panties the first time you meet, He should not be expecting sex the first time you meet to test whether you are submissive enough. He should not be wanting to scene with you on  a first meeting.

As a little/sub/slave you have a say!

Until you give that person your submission they have no power over you.

A true Dom will want to know you as a person first, what makes you tick. He will want to know everything he can about you..and you should be finding out the same thing about him.

This may sound somewhat impersonal, but vet him. Find out about what others who know him in the lifestlye know of him, think of him. Is he active in the local community, does he go to the local munches and clubs? Ask about him.

You may have met online and he sent you a picture. Is it really him? You can do a reverse image search on Google and you will then see if the picture is really him or not.

If you are really still in doubt you can always do a background check on them. It may sound extreme but lets think about this for a minute. You are giving this person the right to spank you, cane you, tie you up, etc. It is all fun and games till someone ends up hurt or dead.

No I am not trying to scare anyone but be safe!

I cringe every time I hear a Dom talking about how he is going to break their sub, tear her down to nothing.

A Dom is entrusted to care for their little/sub/slave, to encourage them, to build them up and help them be all they can be. Being a Dom is not just about pushing sexual boundaries but pushing personal ones as well.

Years ago when I attended my first munch a Master was talking about a new sub she had. This sub was shy, shy to the point of not being able to talk to new people.

When this Master took her sub to a munch for the first time she was tasked with greeting five people and finding out two things about each one of them.

Hearing that stuck with me.

A Good Dom/Domme will help their sub grow in many different ways.

What do the two of you have in common? This really is more important then you may think. Something I have always believed in is once you are done having sex with someone what are you going to talk about?

You may have wonderful sexual chemistry but what about in other aspects of your relationship?

As a sub/little you do have a say. My little is encouraged to voice her opinions and thoughts as long as it is done with respect. I will always take what she has to say into consideration.

She is a master at what she does for work and when I need some help in that department I will always consult her as she (gasp) knows more about it then I do.

Yes, A Dom does not know everything, a Dom learns and grows just as much as a sub does.

A true Dom is man enough to admit he is wrong when he is.

As a sub you deserve to be treated with respect, being a sub does not in any way shape or form make you a doormat.

In any relationship be it DD/lg, D/s, or M/s you deserve to have your needs met just as much as he does.
Over time if you aren’t then what will happen you will be unsatisfied and in time the relationship will break down.

My little is also a masochist, me being a sadist as much as a Daddy allows us to match up well. If I wasn’t then her needs as a masochist are not being met then in time she would be resentful or vice versa.

Do all your needs match up with his?

Give your submission slowly, take your time. You may be excited that you just met someone who you think is the one. He may well be and if he is he will be patient, he will be unwavering, and most of all he will be consistent.

10 thoughts on “For #littles and #subs

  1. Mynx

    Good advise as always Sir! No worries here though…. My Sir and I are very well matched, and blissfully happy! But hopefully your words will reach and resonate with many who need to read them! Sadly I fear there are many!

    Mynx

    Reply
    1. southerns Post author

      You two come across as being perfectly matched for one another.
      I just felt the need to write this as I read about so many new people coming into the lifestyle and getting into bad or abusive relationships.

      Reply
  2. FiFiBuBu

    You said it so much better then I would put it in words. It irks me a lot when fake Doms get all angry when I refuse to play with them on the first meeting. It’s annoying and I wish there was a way to weed them out and banish them to Mars.

    Reply
  3. Christina mandara

    It’s the respect thing. If you’re shown consideration and respect at the beginning of a meet, things are looking good. If not, move on. It’s like vanilla dating, there are good guys and bad ones. If he turns up late, talks down to you and demands sexual favour on day one ~ most of us would walk away. That’s the key. Walk away. Submission should be celebrated – not abused.

    Fantastic post as always!

    Reply
  4. Rose

    While I am not in the lifestyle, I find what you write about it to be informative and exceptionally good advice for relationships in general.
    Rose

    Reply

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