Rough Kinky Sex or Vanilla Sex?

By | February 19, 2014

RoughSex

It was the end of another day and we lay in bed with one another and as it were we talked as so often we do.
Her head was nestled against my shoulder and the question just rolled out from her: “If you couldn’t have kinky sex could you have vanilla sex?”

I didn’t hesitate at all with my answer as I said if that were the case no sex.

Her head raised up off my shoulder like a bullet speeding out of a gun.

“If you couldn’t have kinky sex you’d be celibate? Are you sure you don’t want to rethink that?” She asked.

I did take a moment to think about it and my answer was still the same.

Lets think about this and break it down I told her.

There would be no hair pulling; none, zip, zilch.
I certainly wouldn’t be smacking your ass.As for pulling or pinching your nipple that would be out.

She chimed in, the lights would be out and I nodded in agreement.

Also to be honest about it there would be no orgasms for you, it would be a matter of me getting my rocks off and that’s it.

There would be no biting or nipping, no nails, etc.

A touch of reality began to set in with her at this point.

No oral, that would be out, none for you or for me.

That hit home with her.

Then I mentioned that there would be a good possibility that she would be repressed sexually, unable to talk to me about her needs and what she desired.

To drive my point home I grabbed a handful of her hair in my hand and pulled her head to my crotch, instinctively her mouth opened and engulfed me.
Allowing her to pleasure me till I could take no more I rolled her over on her side burying myself in her from behind. With one hand I took a tight grip on her hair, the other went around her neck.
I took her deep and hard, at times releasing my hand on her neck as I fingered her clit bringing her to numerous orgasms.
Pinching her nipples which has a direct line to her pussy caused her to gush, my hand gripping her hip so tight it left finger marks in her skin.

When all was said and done she was left a gasping, boneless mass on the bed.
A smile crept across her face as we lay there and I held her in my arms.

I couldn’t help but ask the question:

“So do you really think you could go back to vanilla sex?”

She laughed and that was all the answer I needed.

43 thoughts on “Rough Kinky Sex or Vanilla Sex?

  1. Kayla Lords

    To be fair, that’s our only experience with vanilla sex. I’ve been told that some people have great vanilla sex – that just never happened for us. πŸ™‚

    Reply
    1. southerns Post author

      This is true, to say otherwise would be a generalization, but in my experience it was never anything stellar.

      Reply
    2. LittleBoPeep12

      It never was “great”. I always was left feeling.. Is that all there is?? There must be more…it must be me… I must not be good at it, I guess I don’t like it…that sort of self defeating stuff, but I had no idea what MORE was… I could never go back.
      I’m sorry Sir if you are reading this, but if you decided that all you wanted was vanilla pump and go, and one orgasm for me was fine with you, we would be in trouble as it would mean submission without sex or sexual satisfaction and I tried that for 5 years, sorry, doesn’t work, at least it didn’t for me. Sexual satisfaction for both parties is a big part of any long term relationship. I gotta have the kink.

      Reply
        1. Mynx's Sir

          It’s good to see another appearance from you Mr DMW! This is kinda fun- like “Where’s Waldo” only it’s “Where’s Mr DMW” … LOL…

          -Mynx’s Sir (Tom Wolf)

          Reply
  2. Maren Smith

    I don’t think I can remember the last time I had vanilla sex, and yet I hadn’t thought about it like this, either. Nice discussion and a good time was obviously had by all! πŸ™‚

    Reply
  3. Mynx

    No way…. No how ….are we ever going back! Can’t even Imagine life in that vanilla mundane world anymore! And I’m sure my Sir would echo this whole heartedly! Great post Sir!

    Love hearing your stories of spending time together! Come on summer!

    Hugs to you both, Mynx

    Reply
    1. southerns Post author

      Tomorrow we have a lunch planned and we are going to talk of a great many things.

      No going back, only looking forward.

      Reply
  4. Christina Mandara

    Kinky sex is far superior to that of its vanilla counterpart… put the vanilla back in the land of frostiness where it belongs and embrace the dark side. πŸ™‚

    Reply
    1. southerns Post author

      I have fully embraced the dark side. We did a little experiment and it also proved my point. Not to mention the dark side has some killer cookies πŸ˜‰

      Reply
  5. Beauty's Punishment

    When I was married to my first husband, he thought kinky sex was anal sex. He would mock me because I am bisexual, and he didn’t and still doesn’t get it. I met him at 19 and divorced when I was 36. That is a long frickin’ time to just have vanilla sex. I so tried to get him to be kinky, but nothing worked, and in the end he married the lady he left me for so they could be vanilla together. (But then she divorced him nine months later, so I still get the last laugh.)

    I was super happy to finally find people in the BDSM community in my area to go and hang out with. I was like finally!! People that understand me and get it. That August of that year I met Jolynn at a munch since she wanted to get out into the local community, and she had emailed me before then, so meeting her was planned. What happened after that wasn’t planned, since we were both just getting out of a relationship. We were at a noisy little bar, and I couldn’t hear, so I knelt at her feet. My friends were like, “What”?! I knew what it meant at the time, and I don’t mind sitting on the floor or kneeling. I used to run around in there in the summer time in bare feet and drink wine after work and be silly.

    I’ll have to put up the rest of the story of our adventures a different time, but I had to leave off my two cents with you.

    Reply
    1. southerns Post author

      I love hearing how we all in our own different ways found our way to the one thing that has opened us up to a whole new way of thinking and feeling.
      Your story is beautiful and I look forward to reading more of it. Thanks for sharing.

      Reply
  6. Mynx's Sir

    Kinky Fuckery wins out over Mundane Vanilla every time! Well played, Sir, well played… πŸ™‚

    -Mynx’s Sir (Tom Wolf)

    Reply
  7. Franco Bolli

    Vanilla sex is so boring, yawn and I believe it is the main reason why my previous relations went sour. I could never connect with my darker side.
    Kinky sex unleashes me completely and there are so many extra buttons to press like the hair pulling, nipple pinching et al. Rough kink has an incredible added value to our, Princess and my, sex life and I can’t imagine going back to the vanilla boring stuff.
    Yet I think vanilla people can have a satisfactory sex life too.

    Reply
    1. southerns Post author

      I don’t doubt that they can have a satisfactory sex life. I know for me like you being able to connect to my darkside brings in a deeper element which makes it even better.

      Reply
  8. littlekeiko

    I was also going to say… whaaaat? you’d rather have no sex? After reading this though, it rings very true for what we had.. vanilla sex was mediocre and didn’t do much for me at all. Once we started adding kink the magic started to happen. I’m not saying we don’t still have vanilla sex, cause sometimes we do… but we also have a new found knowledge of each other’s bodies to make even that great.

    Reply
    1. southerns Post author

      I am not going to say that each and every time we move the bed across the room, but we like you have a deeper understanding of one another and it heightens each encounter we have.

      Reply
      1. Mynx's Sir

        Too right! πŸ™‚

        I ink for the majority of us, love is a key component. Trust falls right in line with that. Giving up the control to the one you love because you trust your life in their hands AND trust that each seeks only to heighten the experience means mundane no longer has a place in our lives.

        Well said miss LittleKeiko!

        -Mynx’s Sir (Tom Wolf)

        Reply
  9. Wildwestangel

    Read this to Mr. HH last night and he said no more vanilla for us, then proceeded to show me what was NOT vanilla. Mmmmm. Good time had by all….I digress. I asked him if we would have moved this direction if I hadn’t asked him for a D/s relationship and he said he thought so. I pressed him a little and he said even though I had been asking for rougher sex, he was always afraid of hurting me, (I’m much smaller than he,) or leaving bruises on me. Now he knows I like BOTH of those things. Yay! But because I kept bringing it up in different situations, he thinks he would have eventually gotten there. Am I EVER SO GLAD I didn’t have to wait on that!

    Reply
        1. Wldwestangel

          And you should see the brush bruise on my ass. πŸ™‚ he was appalled when he discovered it and I said, “let me up so I can see it in the mirror!”

          Reply
          1. Wldwestangel

            Good to know because he won’t spank me again until it is gone. Sigh. I really liked it. (The spanking and the bruise.)

  10. FunLoveGoodSex

    Pinching nipples, stroking clits, oral, orgasms, spanking ass – sounds vanilla to me! If that’s how you define vanilla sex then I guess I better stop calling myself vanilla, which I honestly thought I was!

    Reply
    1. southerns Post author

      Uh oh, redefining boundaries. Again not to say that each varying degree of kinky isn’t good, it comes down to a matter of more for some then others.

      Reply
  11. Cheeky Minx

    Even though most people equate vanilla sex with extreme sexual banality, at least The British Medical Journal defines it a little more broadly as sex between homosexual couples “that does not extend beyond affection, mutual masturbation, and oral and anal sex.” I’m delightfully surprised it isn’t merely missionary for the purpose of procreation!

    For me, sex needs to cover the erotic, sensual and carnal spectrum because I’m a woman who not only craves variety but also needs to actively engage all facets of her sexuality. It’s all a matter of what feels oh so very good.

    Great post, SSir…

    Reply
    1. southerns Post author

      Thank you Minx, you said it so well…actively engage all facets. Trying something once, maybe even twice to see if you like it. Not everything is for everyone but it can’t hurt to try.
      When you do like it and all the senses are stimulated it can turn it into a powerful experience.

      Reply
  12. Sionna

    Now I’m confused. So when I have erotic, sensual, somewhat rough sex it’s not vanilla? I haven’t considered it kinky, since my kinky activities are more obviously kinky. The lines are blurred for me. I like sex a bit rough, very sensual, definitely not plain vanilla. But I’ve been calling it vanilla without other kink.

    Reply
    1. southerns Post author

      Sionna, the lines are blurry, what is kinky for one may not be for another. This was a conversation between Kayla and I and what we consider kinky and vanilla.
      Do we have tender times where we just make love with no kink? Yes.
      Early on in our relationship she told me she had never been made love to. I did just that, made passionate love to her. No kink just love.

      For us though we have decided that kinky does more for us then anything else.

      Reply
  13. Anna Marie Kenward

    I am so with you there. I’ve been celibate for over 10 years due to our marital vanilla sex becoming so boring, dull and uncomfortable, I preferred not to have to endure it at all.

    Reply
    1. southerns Post author

      In the end though what fuels such a relationship is the connection between a Dom and sub. When they truly understand one another and know what the other needs and wants.

      Reply

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