I had thought I wouldn’t be able to write for a while but as luck would have it I was able to get my hands on a laptop and thanks to Starbucks and their wifi away I go.
“Men,” she said “are only interested in women’s bodies.”
“I have never known a man who was only interested in a woman’s body,” I said “This is not to be deny that to some unusual person might somewhere exist.:
She looked at me.
“If what you say is true,” I said “it would be the case that it would make no difference to a man whether or not the woman he was relating to was conscious or not. Indeed, if what you say is true, it should not even make a difference to him whether he held a sentient woman in his arms or an unconscious mechanism designed to resemble such a woman. I submit, with all due respect, that is not only libelous, but preposterous. Surely no rational person, male or female, if they took a moment to reflect, could entertain so peculiar a hypothesis. No man with whom I am familiar would be content with a woman who lacked consciousness. That sort of thing is simply stupid. It seems to me it would even have limited propaganda value”
Explorers of Gor: John Norman
The Gor novels were one of my earliest exposures to the lifestyle, while the books are based on sci fi fantasy there are many who herald these books as the birth of BDSM. Having been written in the 60’s they caused quite a commotion in many circles, but I digress.
The interplay above makes an interesting comment; that no man wants a woman who lacks intelligence or even creativity. What I read into those words is that a man likes a woman who has thoughts, that can think and have ideas. That her intelligence matters and is important. The old adage still stands true, seduce her mind and the body will follow.
Something I have noticed in the BDSM community is that there is no lack thereof. Correct me if I am wrong, but to me it seems that subs in and of themselves all seem to possess a good deal of creativity, intellect, and wit. This is not to say that Dom’s do not possess these qualities but it was pointed out to me by a reader of my blog that it seems there are more subs that write then Doms.
I say this really not off the cuff, but from reading a good number of submissive blogs and even from their profiles on FetLife.
So many subs have blogs, they write almost daily. They convey great emotion through their words, astoundingly so. From personal experience, erotica, or prose they fill the pages with wonderful flowing words that give a peek into their inner self.
It is not just through the use of written word that they express this, others do so by crafting; making jewelry, others are artists in their own write creating beautiful works of art on a canvas. It doesn’t end there either.
I’ve seen subs who are singers, have a love for quilting, and have a most marvelous sense of humor;
others that are well versed in reading and have a deep love for books and literature.
What is the point of all this you may be wondering.
Much is written about the BDSM aspect of the lifestyle, the harsh Dom’s dolling out the extreme punishment. The cruel instruments used to inflict the sweet pain a sub so craves. But there is more to that.
The safe side, the nurturing side, and the side you don’t always hear about. That is an important side as well.
Along with the gift of a subs submission, their creative side, their intellect is all part of who they are.
That should be nurtured, cared for, and encouraged. It is not just for a Dom to push their subs limits in the bedroom, but outside of it as well.
There are some who don’t wish the D/s to be outside the bedroom and that is fine. There is nothing set in stone that this lifestyle has to be done this way or that way, it is what one makes of it. Many times it may start in the bedroom and then grow outside of there.
When and if it does; aside from the rules and the structure don’t forget about the side to help a sub grow in their creativity. This is just one more way of showing that you cherish and honor the gift they have given you.