In the Beginning

By | June 2, 2014

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about many things. Today a memory came flooding back into my head on my ride home from work. Even for a Monday it was a bear at work, I was exhausted as I didn’t sleep well last night. Dreams, not being able to get comfortable, the typical Sunday night angst of going back to work on Monday, especially right now. The year is coming to a head and we are swamped.

This memory I speak of just came swimming up from nowhere into the forefront of my mind as I was pulling into a produce stand to pick up an onion.

See Kayla and I met as we were both coming out of another relationship. I was on the cusp of ending one and she was in the throws of one having ended. Neither of us was looking for a relationship yet we in some crazy way found one another and we talked.

She wanted to know what when on in the head of a Dom and me, well I wanted to understand the submissive mind better.

Late into the nights we would chat, talking about this, talking about that. We would talk about our various kinks, we would talk about what the lifestyle meant to us, we would talk about our favorite movies, foods, and on and on.

I found myself growing closer to her as time went by, she was still skittish. We tentatively entered a bit of a D/s agreement as I began helping her with her diet and exercise.

Neither one of us mentioned anything about a relationship.

Some of it I tried to push away,  I tried to push her away; I told her I was not the one she should be talking to, I gave her the name of a Domme I know from the local community here that mentors submissive women. She balked, she didn’t want to talk to her, she wanted to talk to me.

Then one night she asked me a question; “What if I meet a Dom, can we still be friends?”

At this point I had feelings for her, I could feel the embers growing inside. I told her most likely that would not work as she would have to serve her Dom and with that there would be no time to be friends with me. Not to mention that a Dom would certainly frown on his sub being friends with another Dom.

Inside I knew I cared for her, but I also knew that I cared enough about her by this time that what mattered most was her happiness. If that were to be with someone else so be it, I loved her that much that I was willing to let her go to have her happiness.

Over the course of several weeks in our chats she would ask me the same question again. “Can we still be friends if I meet a Dom?”

My answer remained the same, “I don’t see how that would be possible.”

Then she would extoll on how that was unfair and that she wanted me as a friend no matter what happened.

“Life isn’t always fair.” I would tell her.

Still night after night we would talk, I was patient, I was consistent, always there, listening when needed, talking, explaining.

Now in four days I will be leaving one last time, this time to bring her home with me, to begin a new chapter.  My babygirl, the masochist to my sadist, the sub to my Dom.

My Love

29 thoughts on “In the Beginning

  1. Desiree G

    I am so happy for the both of you. Since life will be extremely full for you very soon, let me take this opportunity to thank you for all your support and encouragement over the past few months with my writing. It was greatly appreciated!!

    1. John Brownstone Post author

      Thank you Desiree, you are a good writer and I enjoy reading your blog. I know I don’t get to comment much these days but I am still there lurking about and reading 🙂

  2. robin siminovsky

    I feel as if I have been on this journey with you. Your love and devotion to each other is a beautiful thing to witness. Good luck on Sunday and drive carefully!

    1. John Brownstone Post author

      Thanks for the well wishes, you can rest assured I will be driving carefully as I will be carrying some very precious cargo 😉

  3. Kayla Lords

    I had forgotten about that…and I remember how upset I was at the idea that I’d have to give you up if I “found another Dom.” That should have told me everything I needed to know.

    I love you so much, Daddy. I need it to be Friday…NOW.

  4. Anna Marie Kenward

    That is such wonderful news. I am so happy for you both. I wish you all the best on this next stage of your journey.

  5. Renee Heath

    Your final thoughts left me in tears. I’m so happy for both of you. I wish you two nothing but good love and happiness. You both deserve it.


  6. Mynx

    Gosh it seems like only yesterday that I was telling Sir that I knew a secret about Kayla Lords and Southern Sir, that I had indeed figured out who the real little Flower was! And look at you two now…. You are the blogland lovebirds! And so damn cute! There said it!

    I kinda feel a bit like a broken record here, but Sir and I are over the moon happy for the both of you! Wishing you all the happiness you both deserve!

    Love and hugs to you both! Mynx and Sir TW

    1. John Brownstone Post author

      Thanks to you both, it has been a pleasure having you along for our journey.

      You have been great friends and look forward to more.

  7. Wildwestangel

    I love this for all the obvious reasons. Who needs Hallmark channel when we have the two of you?

      1. Wildwestangel

        Cards, definitely! But the channel has lots of sappy love story movies on it all the time. (Yes I tape them and watch them.) you guys are better than those cheesey love stories! Xoxo and glitter.

  8. joolz

    So glad you will be together this week. At an important time like this, it is important to reflect and remember how you got to this place. Good luck to you both

    1. John Brownstone Post author

      Thank you joolz, it has been a long road getting here but the journey has been wonderful and I wouldn’t change a thing.

  9. Melancholy

    This is deep, sensitive and intelligent… Je vous souhaite beaucoup de bonheur à tous les deux, et je penserai à vous vendredi*,
    (*I wish you both lots of hapiness, and I will think about you next Friday)


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