Protocol and Etiquette

By | June 4, 2013

I was reading a blog post called Creep creep creep!!!!

As I read it I was reminded of some other things I have been reading of late on Fetlife.

It seems that the occurrence of people stepping into other peoples scenes at Dungeons is becoming more and more common place.

Along with that is it seems that there are some who feel that because a person is submissive be it male or female that it is alright for them to be approached and even touched.
One sub on Fetlife talked about how after a scene people would approach her and begin poking and prodding her bruises.
Others talked about how because they were playing in public that made them appear to be open to play with anyone that comes along.

Many people do enjoy public play, this does not mean they are there to play with anyone that comes along.
Even when playing in public they are playing with someone they know and trust.

When observing a public scene never ever interrupt what is going on.
The Dom is focused on the sub and what is going on between the two of them.The sub is most likely in sub-space and is focusing on their Dom.
Interrupting is not only rude but dangerous.

When I attended my first Munch I was met by a “greeter”
This person was there to not only make new people feel welcome and comfortable; but to also instruct them on the basic protocols and etiquette of the Munch/event.
At the local Dungeon there are DM’s (Dungeon Monitors)
Their function is to assist people playing in keeping people away and not bothering them.

Even if someone manages to slip by the DM’s are there to be informed of any behavior that is out of line and then act on it.

Since the release of 50 Shades, more people then ever before are curious about the lifestyle.
One local Dungeon has a program that you must attend before you are granted admittance to the club.
Just because a sub likes public play doesn’t mean she is there for just anyone to walk up to and touch or engage in play.
Just because he/she is submissive does not mean they are your sub and does not mean they are there for your use.

Respect the other person, respect their space, respect their play space.
If you don’t know the protocol or etiquette for a function ask, there is no shame in it.

9 thoughts on “Protocol and Etiquette

    1. SouthernSir

      It just seems odd that in a world in which respect is paramount that it seems to be dwindling away.

  1. Wordwytch

    Well said. You know, we wouldn’t walk into a cafe and start tasting other people’s food. Nor would we sit down at a table and but into a conversation. sigh…

    1. SouthernSir

      This is true, yet it seems to be happening more and more from the things I have been reading in various places.

        1. SouthernSir

          Thankfully the two places I have started going have been very big on educating people on what really is compared to the book.

          1. Wordwytch

            Good! I’m glad to hear that. I have to admit I do my best to change people’s perceptions. That book is such a pain in the ass, and it isn’t even a good pain.

  2. Kayla Lords

    Sage advice…I have a feeling my VERY non-submissive side would come out if some random person touched me or tried to interrupt my play.

  3. myrosegarden84

    From a mostly Vanilla standpoint and from a person that has never been to a munch, doing something like this seems more than just rude. It is straight up Wrong. Period.


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