Soft Touch

By | May 1, 2013

Do a search on the Internet for BDSM, Dominance, submission, bondage, etc and you will turn up a plethora of images of a scowling Dom and a submissive being tortured in the most cruelest of ways.

Rope work ties so tight it makes you wonder how they can stand it even for a few moments.Even some of the stories that you come across are the deepest darkest fantasies imaginable, the ones that lay in the most hidden corners of the mind.

This is all well and good; it has “entertainment” value.

There are times as a Dom when you know you must push and push hard.
When there is nothing but that stern voice and sharp command is needed;
that moment when you must snap to and demand immediate attention.

Then there is the time that a soft push is needed, one that is almost imperceptible.
A feathers touch, so light it is not even noticed till some time afterwards.

Theodore Roosevelt said it best; โ€œSpeak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far.โ€

There are times to be the Alpha male, bold, daring, outspoken, and commanding.
Then there are times when the soft tones and quiet nudges are what are needed.

Some might say that isnโ€™t Dom like, you have to be tough, stand firm, growl.
That is even more Dom like if you ask me.
Knowing your s so well that you know then they need that firm hard edge and knowing when they need that nudge but in a subtle way.

If a sub has been hurt depending on them of course, the last thing they need is an Alpha male bearing down on them. A soft Dom, leading them gently..still leading, but in a different way may well be what they need.

Could that be considered coddling? No, not at all; coddling someone would be allowing them to wallow where they are, enabling them to continue the kind of behavior they are exhibiting.
But to softly lead them out, to get them to a stronger point where then you can once again be firm, that is not coddling.

A sub is supposed to be perceptive to the needs of their Dom, so should a Dom be perceptive to the needs of their sub and under the circumstances which is the best way to proceed.

18 thoughts on “Soft Touch

  1. Wordwytch

    Spot on! Soft touches/actions are sometimes the fastest route to a sub’s brain. Especially if she has been treated rough. Those gentle nudges are sometimes harder than any beating. BTDT. Live with Wolf. ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. Kayla Lords

    Soft nudges can do wonders…but I have to admit, there’s something about the growl and the alpha that’s pretty damn nice, too…

  3. June

    This is quite lovely, and I have always found it to be true. Thank you for sharing.

  4. Cheeky Minx

    Even though I’m not strictly qualified to comment, there’s something about the interplay between an outward dominance and a softer, inward one that gets me each and every time. I think you’re so right about the ability of a softer touch to turn her into a submissive little puddle. In the best possible way, of course… ๐Ÿ˜‰

    1. SouthernSir

      Minx, for some it is just a matter of taking charge in the bedroom, it doesn’t even have to involve ropes and spankings. There also is knowing the other person as well, that is where comminication comes in and understanding what the other likes and doesn’t.

  5. Minx

    Ahh yes the feathers touch, not even knowing it exists until later and then the smile comes and you have to run and thank him for using that touch. I have been lucky enough in life to have had a few of those soft nudges from very non-soft men in my life. Thank you for reminding me men like that do still exist.

  6. Suzanne Steele

    I enjoyed both of these.
    It is always good to hear from a Dom, I could be wrong but there seems to be more subs writing…

    1. SouthernSir

      Thank you, there are more subs that write. Several things come to mind regarding that. Many Doms have their subs write as it allows them a place to put down their thoughts if they have a hard time expressing themselves. The one thing I have noticed is that subs do seem to have a very creative streak and are good writers.

  7. Suqui

    I am quite excited to find the blog of a Dom. It is refreshing, can’t wait to read more.


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