Where in the World is SouthernSir (aka John Brownstone)

By | November 3, 2016


I have been absent from here for quite some time. So much has been happening some good some not so good. That’s just life.

Since the last time writing here my main priority has been to take care of Kayla. As most of you know know from her opening up and writing about her anxiety and bipolar first and foremost has been looking out for her and picking up the slack when needed.
When I became her friend/lover/Daddy/Dominant it wasn’t only for the good times but for whatever life throws at us and I have done my utmost best to do that and be there for her in any way shape or form that takes.

Being a Dominant doesn’t just mean in the good times for all the kinky fuckery and spanking sessions but for the times that life throws speed bumps in your path.

Best part is; we’re working through it, finding out what works and what doesn’t. Does it mean at times that certain aspects of our D/s S&m parts of ourselves takes a back seat? Yeah it does and you know what, that’s okay too. The downside, at least for me is that there are certain things that had to take a back seat, my blog here became one of those things along with a fair amount of social media. I’m not out and about on FetLife much these days, nor am I on Facebook like I used to be and that to is okay.

Making sure Kayla is taken care of is my number one priority!

Then there is Kayla’s dream of going to Eroticon next year. We have adjusted, balanced and rebalanced the budget and when we thought we were done we did it again to help get her there. So far it is looking like a reality for her and we should be able to get her there come next March.

Earlier this year we had someone come into our lives that had touched us both in ways we never expected. She has become someone who has both touched our hearts, our lives, and our souls. She in her own way has become part of our family and no matter how far a distance or time keeps us apart she will always have a place in our home and hearts. While working through Kayla’s anxiety she was there as a friend helping to guide us both through to better understand what was happening and ways for each of us to work together. WE love you SO SO much!

It has also opened our eyes to other ways of thinking and loving and being manogomish.

Around June I had a major job upheaval that blind sided me. Reorganization! Yes I still have a job but this new position was pretty much thrust upon me which sparked a hunt for a new job. The job market being what it is here is flooded with people doing what I do and it ended in frustration and disappointment. On the flip side of that I have embraced what has been handed me and made it my own. So much so that when my now boss decided he was going to rock my world even more by adding to the sites I already had. Currently I have 8 sites I go to. His plan was to take away a number of the ones I currently have and give me different ones bring the total of sites I cover to 11.

Well the folks I cover now mysteriously found out what was happening and they wrote to my bosses boss that they didn’t want to lose me. So bending to pressure he had to nix the idea of taking away and adding more sites.

I’ve also been turning my attention to my wood turning, doing more and different types of pens and branching out into other things. Hard to believe it will be coming up on almost two years since I started playing with wood. I’ve been loving it to say the least.
Pens, bottle toppers, bottle openers, Men’s shaving brushes, razors, and bowls. It has been a blast, I have found a outlet for my artistic side.
Kayla handed me a book to read The War of Art” which really opened my eyes and it has served to propel me forward in doing more with my wood working.

Along with that I have also been making some wooden paddles which are on Kayla’s site. I have a lot of ideas for things to do with those as well. They are simple but very very effective!

So as you can see some things have had to slip to the wayside.

Oh, I forgot the podcast LovingBDSM that was started a little over a year ago. At first I was mainly tech support, setting up the software, securing a decent mic, and doing the editing once she was done recording. As the podcast evolved so did my involvement. Now I sit in on most every show as we talk about how BDSM fits into our day to day life.

Now if after this long term of absence you are interested I’m going to pimp myself out briefly.
If you’d like to take a look at my wood working here is the link

Don’t let the name fool you it is all vanilla stuff and safe for anyone to see.

Here are some pics as you can see I also do some in acrylics as well as wood.




Here is a sampling of the paddles and if you’d like to check them out further you can find them here:



42 thoughts on “Where in the World is SouthernSir (aka John Brownstone)

  1. Oceanswater

    Yes, I for one, have missed you! Kayla is very fortunate to have you to share her life with.

  2. Kayla Lords

    I love you so much and I am proud of everything you’ve handled and accomplished. Thank you for loving me the way you do.

  3. Anna Marie

    Wonderful to hear from you again Sir. Your products look beautiful. I understand Eroticon that Kayla wishes to attend, is in the UK. As i live in the UK too, I really should look it up as I too would love to attend if I can, and also of course, have a chance to meet your wonderful Kayla. If either of you have a site link to the Eroticon event, I’d be grateful to have it. Many thanks.


  4. Dana R

    It is good to “see” you, again. And thank you for sharing your etsy site. Your artwork/craftmanship is gorgeous. Order placed!! πŸ™‚

    1. John Brownstone Post author

      Dana, thank you so much, your order will be shipped out in the morning. I am enjoying your photo’s and prose as well I must say.

  5. Christina Mandara

    You have been busy! But you’re right – family always comes first. I hope that things are getting a little better and that there’s a bright patch coming your way. You deserve it!

    1. John Brownstone Post author

      Busy and dizzy so to speak as I even forgot to mention the craft shows I’m doing on the weekends. Things are leveling out now that we both have a better understanding.

  6. Julie

    Great to see your post. We are hoping to be at Eroticon in March too. As others have said you and Kayla and family come first. But hope you will be back here more xx

    1. John Brownstone Post author

      Thank you Julie, I am going to try and make an effort to write here more often. Sounds like Eroticon will be quite the party

  7. Wordwytch

    It was so good to read this. I’ve been absent too. Life has just beaten us up lately in ways I never expected. Lots of good happening too, but no time to play in the way I want to.

    I was reading today about Kayla’s issues. Good luck to you both! Lots of hugs.

    I LOVE the woodwork! OMG! I may have a commission for you if you can figure out how to make them. πŸ™‚ No, nothing kinky, but… a needle case.

    1. John Brownstone Post author

      I know you’ve been busy I had been seeing you pop in here and there. We are working through things and from it having a better understanding of ourselves and each other.
      Thank you, Hmm a needle case…give me a bit to think about it, I believe I can come up with something like that. SO good to see you (HUGS) and give my best to Wolf.

  8. Miss Amelia

    So happy to read your writing again Sir. I know all to well how life can turn your world upside down, having experienced that myself recently. I hope that you both continue to grow stronger and stronger. I’ll look forward to something else new in the future. Sending only love, strength and happiness your way. ❀️
    PS: we should talk about your woodworking too. ?

    1. John Brownstone Post author

      Thank you so much Miss Amelia, it has been a journey of self discovery for both of us. If anything it has brought us closer. Am hoping to work in some writing bit by bit again.
      Feel free to reach out to me southernsir at gmail dot com

  9. Mrs Fever

    Glad to see you are doing well. I will be checking out your site. My dad uses old fashioned shave cream and brushes, and Christmas is right around the corner…

  10. Sue

    Glad to see you back. Although I doubt I will be going to Eroticon too many financial pressures here at the moment which you will appreciate!! It would be lovely to meet Kayla if I can arrange a trip to London at the time she is over here.

    1. John Brownstone Post author

      Thank you Sue, yes I understand….money can and does get tight, especially with the holidays coming up. That would be wonderful if you were in the area while she is there. So good to see you.

  11. Cheeky Minx

    It’s so good to see you back with such a wonderful update. Your wood work is incredible. I’m definitely eyeing off the paddles…

  12. Tieme8

    I knew you were not gone because I would see each time you would LIKE one of my posts. I did miss hearing from you. So glad to read and catch up! You were missed.

  13. Mischa Eliot

    First: You are awesome. I’ve been with people who couldn’t care less that I was sick (or injured) and I’ve never had a D/s relationship. Thanks so much for being a loving partner to Kayla. You give me hope. πŸ™‚
    Second: Thank you for writing ‘playing with wood’ because I needed that giggle.
    Third: I hope everything works out in the long run. When it rains, it pours, but the sunshine always comes back. XoXo

    1. John Brownstone Post author

      Thank you Mischa
      I was wondering if anyone was going to pick up on that reference…lol
      It will work out as we both put the time and effort into who and what we are. No matter how dark the night the sun always rises.
      Thank you for visiting and commenting. JB

  14. Lilli

    How nice to see a post from you! And what lovely wood working too! You’re quite talented! I’m glad you’ve found another outlet for your creativity! πŸ™‚

  15. Alex

    So heartwarming to hear of the care you have for Kayla. And yes, family and looking after yourselves should always come first!

  16. Selina

    As with the sentiments already expressed above…it is great to have you back. it was also great to catch up on all that you have been up to and am looking foward to placing an order with your etsy in the near future hopefully.

  17. Helena

    Awww this is so lovely to read! Bipolar is yucky , Horrid thing for the person who has it and is ver, very hard to deal with for the sufferers loved ones. Both my big sister and my daddy (not my Dom , dad ) have it . Also love that you but your baby girl first! My Lovely Dom is just the same with me, I have awful depression and anxiety , as well as cvid that means I end up sick in the hospital at times , and he just seems to know what I need. Thank you for you blog, thank you for loving your lovely baby girl and thank you for being you .

    Awdw x x x

    Ps – your blog is my Doms fav too! (And he’s a grumpy old Frenchman)

    Pps – I can say that cos I’m now Mrs grumpy Frenchman πŸ˜›

    1. John Brownstone Post author

      Hello Helena and thank you for commenting. Yes, bipolar, anxiety, depression, any illness is tough on anyone.
      It sounds like your Dom has your best interests at heart which is wonderful.
      We work through it day to day, find what works and what doesn’t. One day at a time and one foot in front of the other.

      Thank you both for following and reading.
      Send that you both have a good sense of humor as well, love that. JB

  18. WetBliss

    Love the woodwork, and reading about you busy life and priorities – Kayla. ?


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