Who Am I?

By | August 9, 2018
Who am I? The person behind the persona

Who am I? The person behind the persona

How “real” is your online persona?

That is quite an interesting question. Giving this some thought if you had asked me 3 years ago my answer would have been totally different.

Over the course of the past year and a half I have begun to embrace more and more of my persona of John Brownstone. My persona along with me as a person has evolved over the years. When I first dipped my toes into the blogging world and even FetLife I was known as SouthernSir, still am actually but that has morphed and grown into John Brownstone whom I identify with more and more as time passes.

While obviously JB is not my true name, I do need a way to protect my privacy and family to some extent, yet at the core of who I am there is most certainly an overlap between who I am in my day to day interactions and who my online persona is.


Do you use a pseudonym, your real identity or both?

I do use a pseudonym, John Brownstone is a mix of my real name and a fictitious one. The name was born after Kayla asked me to be more of an active part in the LovingBDSM podcast and we both agreed that I need a better name then just SouthernSir.

While I have always hated coming up with pseudonyms for various online accounts and emails this one came to me on a whim while listening to some music.

I was in the car and I had Guns & Roses playing and on popped the song Mr. Brownstone. I’ve always loved that song and for better or for worse will belt out the lyrics right along with them. It was while jamming out to that song when the idea of John Brownstone was born.

Where you use a pseudonym how open about your actual identity are you?

With doing the podcast and now some video my life is pretty much on display across the Internet. What we talk about on the podcast are our own personal experiences and how that relates to the D/s aspect of the relationship between Kayla and I.
Kayla on her blog A Sexual Being often talks about our sexual side and often uses our kinky fuckery to fuel many if not most of her stories.

On the videos we do we talk about toy reviews and I have even done a few videos myself where i talk about things from a Dominants perspective. My face is fully visible in the videos so I do not really hide what I look like.

With that being said there are aspects of our lives that are kept private and the world never sees. While I do put a lot of who I am out there for the world to see there are some aspects that are kept private. Look at it as seeing a slice or two of the pie.

Is your anonymous/pseudonymous online self a secret or more a form of protective “camouflage”?

When I first started blogging many many years ago back in mid 2011 my “name” was most definitely a secret. As I was writing even then about the D/s lifestyle there was/is a certain stigma attached to that which is not accepted in many circles one of which being work.

A little over a year ago now my blog was found out and it was no longer a secret.

It was from that I decided to own who I am and the lifestyle I live and believe so deeply in. From that point on I began to embrace the John Brownstone side of me to the pont that I am out to most family and close friends.

So over time my online name has morphed from anonymous to more of a camouflage role.
Being out one might ask why I would need the camouflage. Well like I said before there are still parts of my life that people don’t see, while it is nice to be able to talk freely and openly about how we live it is also nice to have that little bit of protective cover to retreat into at the end of the day.

At that core I am still true to who I am and what I believe in. I am who I am and I do my best that the person you see online is the same person you meet in real life. That core is a loving Dominant to my babygirl, a husband, a step-dad, a lover, and a friend.


I missed the deadline to join up for this but it is something that has been on my mind and I still wanted to talk about the subject.

8 thoughts on “Who Am I?

  1. Li

    I have felt all the while you were really you, John (or whichever your birth name is 😉
    Look: I wish I had done the same from the very beginning,, online… Now is too late to hide a name that shouts out I was born a boy, and that my dad had my same name, etc, etc… Same regrets about my sister’s policy about this, most of the time (because she really was Ariel :// )

  2. Li

    … I also wanted to tell my feminine pet name (Lixie) is quite recent (less than a year ago). I’ve been called my usual agenger diminutive (Li) since I was a teen by close friends and members of my family. The real masculine name is just a kind of punisment I have to deal with still now, until I officially change my gender/sex and first name.

  3. Cassandra

    This blog is my pseudonym. I love the idea of being anonymous while typing out erotic fantasies, true or embellished ones. The vulnerability and transparency as a pseudonym leaves a bit of an intrigue for my readers, I would think…(does it?). At the same time, at one point not too long ago, I decided to create this silhouette which is me posing, so there is a small part of me that is ‘me’ IRL.

    This niche, erotica and D/s, kink etc, has been a fascinating exploration for me as I navigated my erotic fantasies into the written, published world. Some people may call a pseudonym a crutch, I think an alter ego might be a better fit in terms of label, if there must be one, for me.

    Interesting post, Mr. Brownstone.

    1. John Brownstone Post author

      Hello Cassandra, calling it a alter ego is the perfect description. Being a blogger that writes about erotic fantasies and/or real experiences can be both fun and freeing.

      Having an alter ego when writing does ad a layer of intrigue but it also offers a layer of privacy. While I have morphed from blogging to podcasting and YouTube and my face is out on many social media sites I still use a pseudonym. This does several things for me. While I am out about my lifestyle and am very open about my life there are still parts the public does not see, parts that are private. It also helps protect family and friends that did not consent to being a part of what I do. Meaning many of them are aware I live a alternative lifestyle but do not need to have it in their face all the time.

      Yes there are some who feel a pseudonym or alter ego is a cop out and for me I disagree, it offers a layer of privacy and safety.

      We all have many facets in our lives and even this is only one part of that.

      Thanks for stopping by and commenting.


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