Why I Wear a Safety Pin

By | January 29, 2017

I wear a safety pin, every day. I wear it when I go to work, when I go get coffee, no matter what I do I am wearing a safety pin. Often am I asked by people why am I wearing one. My answer will slightly vary depending on who I am talking to but the base of it always remains the same.

There are many reasons why I wear one and they are all deeply personal to me on a number of different levels.

While Kayla and I are very open about our D/s life and even our #kinkyfuckery both here in our blogs and in our podcast, politics has always been something very personal that I don’t go into very often with very many people.

My father immigrated to the US when he was 19, he remembered all to well the end of WWII.

While Hitlers rise to power was based on helping the German people and stabilizing the economy we know all to well how that ended up.

While in the beginning Hitler did do some good things. It was through him the Volkswagon Beetle come into being; a cheap economical way for working class people to have transportation. One of the very few good things he did.

At the time even though my fathers family were then supporters of the current German government it was hard not to be. If you didn’t support them you were against them and it didn’t go well for you. He would talk about how when the German troops would come through town they would help themselves to whatever they wanted and you didn’t refuse them.

There were some underground efforts to oppose the Nazi regime but it was far and few between.

History reminds us all to well about the atrocities that the Jewish people endured; families separated, concentration camps, gassing, and on and on.

In the end it wasn’t just the Jewish people that were effected, Hitler also went after Catholics, Protestants, and socialists.

I am most reminded of this quote from a speech:

“In Germany they came first for the Communists, and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Communist.
Then they came for the Jews, and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Jew. Then they came for the trade
unionists, and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I
didn’t speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me, and by that time no one was left to speak up.

–Pastor Martin Niemöller, 1945


The US has it’s own history of similar discourse sadly when the Japanese were interred in camps after the attack on Pearl Harbor. George Takei was in a camp as a child and speaks openly about that time in his life.

Are we doomed at repeating that once more with Muslims? Once/if it starts with the Muslims will it end there or will it just be the beginning of something more?
Is that it? Is that the only reason, no there is more.
When I was on my late 20’s I had a lover, her name was Vicki. Vicki was amazing in so many ways. She was passionate; in her caring, in her joy, in her love making, and in her art. She opened my eyes to so many other possibilities, that life wasn’t just black and white, that everything wasn’t just cut and dry. Vicki was also trans-gender, she was in the process of transitioning from a man to a woman. She talked to me often about how she never felt right as a man but as she became who she truly was she felt more right about her life and how she belonged and how she fit in.
Most importantly Vicki was a person, she was my friend, and for many months we were lovers.
In time we both moved on, her journey took her along a different path then mine. We went on out own journey as friends and kept in touch for some time after (this way way before the Internet and cell phones) but as life has it we lost touch. Since we had mutual friends I would hear about her now and again.
One day I heard news of Vicki that tore my heart, she had died, I never truly found out what happened and at this point probably never will will.
What I do know is a beautiful star had it’s light extinguished way to soon.
Since then I have had other lovers, both men and women.
It is for Vicki and the others that I have loved and the right to love who you want that I wear a safety pin.
High school was a rough time for me, very rough.
I was different then the other kids and they didn’t let me forget it.
I grew up in a very rural community yet my mother had an urban upbringing.
Kids can be cruel and they dished it out.
I was teased mercilessly, I was bullied.
During lunch I did my best to make myself small and unnoticeable.
I was the kid who was nervous when school let out and constantly looked over my shoulder wondering when I was going to get jumped.
I tried to fit in in ways that were wrong and actually made things worse for me.
At that time there was not the awareness of bullying that there is now.
I am thankful that in my day there was no social media like there is now.
When I see the bullying and harassment that occurs there on a daily basis it is heartbreaking.
Having been one who was bullied I will not tolerate it in others.
I know all to well how it can effect someone and how long it took me to move past it.
It is for those who are bullied that I wear a safety pin.


22 thoughts on “Why I Wear a Safety Pin

  1. Oceanswater

    I share your wonderful sentiments Sir. I’m wearing mine too.

  2. Miss Amelia

    I am VERY proud and EXTREMELY honored to say I wear one every day too. I have one on my work lanyard, my coat, my purse and usually my shirt somewhere. I have had my own struggles too, but I have a wonderful life today, and wear it for all those who don’t. I am blessed to work with children and ALWAYS want to be a safe place they can turn if they feel others have turned against them.
    So pleased to stand along side you with this outward sign of love. ❤

    1. John Brownstone Post author

      Happy to have you by my side Miss Amelia.
      I have heard some statements by children and many of them are afraid and nervous. They shouldn’t have to live that way, especially in the US.

  3. Franco Bolli

    What a wonderful and deep hearted post, Sir.
    There are indeed so many similarities with then and now. Hate, intolerance and lack of respect for those whom think or are different. Whom beliefs are different.
    Unfortunately, and I don’t want to generalise, hate creates hate. I grew up with my mother hating the Germans because her brother, member of the resistance, was killed by them. She used to say once a German, always a German. Sad. Comprehensible maybe, but sad.

    1. John Brownstone Post author

      Thank you Sir. I have been on the other side of this. A number of years ago I dated a Russian girl. We had gotten rather serious and when we did her family stepped in and her father told me he wanted me gone. It was because of my German heritage. He said it was my fault what happened to Russia and his family during the war.

      It is sad, we are all here together and we are merely temporary vessels in this life.

  4. Kayla Lords

    You are living proof that we don’t have to become products of our lives and environment, that we can rise above the bad and do better. You are a good, kind, and amazing human being and the consummate Daddy (to the world as well as to me).

    We may not be public about our politics but how we treat people (hopefully) speaks for us instead. There are so many people right now who need to know who’s safe and where they will be safe to exist and be who they are. I am honored to be by your side as a safe place for anyone who may need it.

  5. Pandora Spocks

    Thank you for sharing your heart. I, too, wear a safety pin every day, and will continue to do so until it is no longer necessary. <3

    1. John Brownstone Post author

      Hopefully it won’t be long as others will come to their senses and see how this is tearing us apart, not even just as a country but as people from all over the world.

  6. Cerita

    What a powerful and lovely post. It serves as a nice reminder during these difficult times. Thank you

  7. Dana

    Thank you for sharing this. And to be honest, I don’t think it has anything to do with “politics”. To me, this about humanity. I am blessed to know you.

    1. John Brownstone Post author

      You make a good point, humanity is much more powerful then politics. The humanity of caring fro another individual, for someone not to be scared that they won’t see their family anymore.

      If anything my hope that through all this it opens peoples eyes.

      Thank you

  8. Christina Mandara

    I know exactly where you are coming from and having been watching the news recently, I have been pretty horrified. Let’s all of us stand up and unite, find our voices, and let us be heard. The power is in the people… it always was and always will be.

    ~ Stand up for what you believe in, lest history repeat itself ~

    1. John Brownstone Post author

      Chirstina, the power is in the people. I’ve been trying to stay away form social media and news of late because of all the hate and name calling. It is sad to see what some people have digressed to.

      Voices do need to be heard but in a firm and solid way.

  9. Pixie heart

    Sir, this post kind of made me cry ? (Hormones , I cry at the drop of a hat right now) I also wear safety pin, in fact I wear 3 . A silver one , a purple one and a red one. The silver one is for all the people that lost their lives in the troubles in Ireland . The purple one is for all the men and women , who unlike me did not get out of a domesticly violent situation with their lives. The read one is for the friends I have lost their livesto AIDS . Thank you for writing this and thank you for a caring soul!

    Pixie X

  10. Ms. Fet

    This post has touched my heart. I always wore a safety pin in honor of my grandmother and grandma likes who have passed on. But now you have reminded me why it’s important to wear it for others and the fear of what they endure. It’s important to recognize all our fears and treatment of others. Thank you

    1. John Brownstone Post author

      As one who has been on both sides of the coin it is easy for me to remember others that need our support.


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