This came across my dash on FaceBook today and after reading it had to scratch my head a bit.
76% of women prefer feminine men to settle down with in long term relationships.While only 26% of women prefer men who are masculine.
Now speaking for myself as someone in a D/s relationship; while we are not quite considered the “norm” I just don’t see it. Even in a vanilla context it just doesn’t seem to wash with me. Even strong women I have known want to be with strong men.
The definition of masculine is thus:
having qualities or appearance traditionally associated with men, esp. strength and boldness.
“he is outstandingly handsome and robust, very masculine”
I consider myself to be masculine; I protect my babygirl, I am there for her when she needs me, and I do my best to provide for her.
That being said I am also a gentleman at the same time.
I open car doors for her, I hold her hand when we are out in public, and I look after her well being.
In my eyes being a gentleman does not diminish my masculinity but actually enhances it.
Now I grant you being in a D/s relationship I am more attuned to her feelings and emotions then others might be. Does that make me more feminine?
As her Dom it is my duty to guide her and help her grow pushing many different boundaries. If I wasn’t in tune with her needs and feelings I couldn’t do what I do. By being her rock yet being attuned to her emotional well being isn’t that more of a balance between the two and not either masculine or feminine?
While it may be that a woman is not looking for a man to “provide” for her it doesn’t mean she does not want a strong man that she knows she can count on when needed.
On the other side of that is the woman and being feminine, the dictionary describes it as this:
having qualities or appearance traditionally associated with women, esp. delicacy and prettiness.
Now I am going to go out on a limb here and say that I believe a woman can be feminine and strong at the same time. I believe that a woman can be both. Little flower is a strong woman, woe be to any that cross her path in the wrong way and when it comes to her job she is good at what she does and a bear when she knows she is right.
On the other side of that coin she is also very much in touch with her femaleness and can be totally feminine.
Do I think women believe that falling in love will be like a fairy tale where they are swept off their feet and whisked away to a beautiful castle and life will be perfect, happily ever after.
I don’t think so.
At the same time each persons definition of happily ever after is different. To build the fairy tale takes hard work and determination. To build that fairy tale takes trust, communication and mutual respect.
When you read the article take note of the comments, I found it interesting that no one seemed to agree with the study, granted I didn’t read them all and some of them are inflammatory but for the most part quite the opposite of what the study shows.
What do you think?