Patience, a word that has lost so much meaning in our modern society.
We have become what I have dubbed a “fast-food” people
We want it now and we don’t want to wait.
Everything has to be delivered yesterday, no if and or buts about it.
This to is all part of the guidance of a Dominant.
They should allow you; both of you actually to get to know one another.
Do your kinks fit?
Do you have things in common outside of your kinks?
Are you a slave and he is looking for a babygirl?
Is he looking for a service oriented sub and you are anything but?
Is he looking for the third in a poly household and you are a one woman sub?
These are all things that are important to know.
It takes time to learn these things about one another, it takes lots of communication.
In the vanilla world you would go on a number of dates and get to know one another.
In the BDSM world it is no different and even more in-depth.
It is up to the Dom to take the lead in this as in anything to set the pace and allow the sub to learn you, to learn each other.
To allow the sub to feel comfortable in opening up to you with their desires.
For them to give you true submission it takes time and patience.
Not only are you learning about each other but about each others kinks.
Whats aspects of your kink is important to you.
Be sure he knows that about you and you in turn know what his are.
Also just because a person is a Dom doesn’t mean that as a sub you must kneel down before them in supplication.
Certainly a amount of respect is due, but if someone says to you “I am Dom and you must kneel before me” it should give pause for a second thought.
Have they earned your trust?
Have they earned your full respect?
When I first met my girl, I knew there was something about her.
she struck a chord in me, a very deep chord.
I also knew she had been scared and hurt.
The last thing she needed at that time was an alpha male setting up rules.
I was patient, I took my time.
I got to know her, understand her.
What are her dreams, her desires.
Does she like to read, if so what.
I got to know what kind of movies she liked, and on and on.
It also served another purpose, it allowed her to see who I am.
What I am all about.
I took my time, it wasn’t till some time later she saw what had happened.
Realized how even in my patience I had taken the lead.
How I had sneaked up on her.
Yet it allowed her the time to truly get to know me and I her.
One thing I have learned about her…
She can be very impatient as she stamps her foot and pouts.