It was December 23, 2012 at 3:51 pm when the email dinged into my inbox. The letter was a simple email to be sure, it came from my Talk to Me page on my blog. It was from someone who had been following my blog and posting comments. We had been going back and forth in the comments since she started reading my blog and my comments on her blog which I had started reading. I knew very little about her other then she had a fabulous sense of humor as it was my Jolly the Shelf Elf posts that she had first began commenting on.
The email didn’t say much just two simple lines;
Comment: I don’t have a question, and I don’t expect a response. I just wanted to say that I have enjoyed your comments on my posts and our “conversations” through comments lately.
Thank you for that.
Of course I responded and from there began a chain of emails back and forth over the course of the next few days.
At some points there were several emails going back and forth at one time, some of then extensively long, others just a few sentences.
She had been hurt, grievously; I knew this from reading her blog. She wanted someone to talk to, she wanted someone that she could ask questions, get inside the mind of a Dom and ask questions. I had no problem and told her so; I’d be happy to help her in anyway I could.
As time went on the emails began to become more personal, deeper questions about one another. I began to become attached. I was going through some things in my life and I wasn’t looking for anyone.
Our emails were about everything under the sun, we talked about our kinks, there were talks about what movies we liked, favorite foods, TV shows, favorite colors, and on and on.
The things I was beginning to feel scared me. At one point I had even told her I couldn’t help her anymore and she would be better served by letting me put her in contact with a Domme I know who was known for mentoring subs.
She wouldn’t hear of it, yet there was still the insistence that this was only platonic.
Then came the question that changed it all. She told me that her old Dom had been helping her lose weight. Tracking her exercise and meals, would I be interested in helping her. We talked about it for some time, what she expected of me, what I was to do for her, the negotiations began. In the end we hashed it out and I began checking her exercise and calories on a daily basis.
This only led to draw me even closer to her. What this did though was open a crack, not one that I tried to tear down with a wrecking ball, not by any means. It was one that I eased into; slowly, cautiously. She was still hurting deeply, the cut ran deep and she was still bleeding openly.
What I did though was begin to Dom her softly, not coming on to her as an Alpha male, but as a soft whisper. It was some time before she realized what I was doing, that in ways I had been guiding her, nurturing her. After what she had been through I knew that if I came on to her all tough and strong she would be headed for the hills and hiding in a heartbeat.
I knew I was taking a risk, that there was no guarantee that anything would really develop between us. As I had gotten to know her what mattered to me more then anything was her happiness; even if that meant she ended up with someone else as long as she was happy.
Our emails soon became chats and text messages, every morning I would send her a daily affirmation, each day I would send her a good morning text. In the evening we would chat till it was time to go to sleep.
Not long ofter that we exchanged phone numbers and the morning text message then became a phone call while I was driving to work.
I was still monitoring her exercise and food after almost a month and I wanted more. Our conversations had grown deeper and longer and my feelings were becoming stronger for this woman I had never met. I nudged, I didn’t push hard, just a nudge, the quiet Dom thing. Soon we were negotiating a very simple D/s contract, I even put it in writing on Google Drive and shared it with her as we worked out the details.
Soon we had it all worked out and I expected certain tasks to be done in the morning when she woke up, she began messaging me or emailing me so I knew she was safely at work. I began picking out her panties for her to wear each day.
Oh to be sure it didn’t go smoothly, each time I nudged there was a gnashing of teeth, She would cry, or write me a in depth email about why we could never work out and her fears of what could never be. I had my heels dug in by this time and rode out the storm each time. There was something about her, something different from anyone else I had met previously.
I think the worst of those was the first time I called her little one. She began crying and started talking about the power of names, she said she liked it yet it scared her. She sent me numerous emails detailing why I shouldn’t call her that. I didn’t use it often but I didn’t stop calling her little one.
Not long after that we began talking about meeting, seeing each other face to face. There were more cracks running through her walls by this time and we had a somewhat tenuous relationship per se. Both of us were wondering if what we had developed online had any kind of spark in person.
I had some time off coming up at the end of March and we decided we would meet then. She lived fairly close all things considered 400 miles from where I live. I had been looking for a reason to do a long distance trip on my new motorcycle and decided this would be a perfect reason to do so.
The date had been set and travel plans had been set, the bike had been put in the shop to be checked out for a long distance trip.
I asked her to look into hotels for me since I didn’t know the area and wanted something reasonable and inexpensive. I told her in the case that we didn’t hit it off at least I had somewhere to be and I could leave if need be.
She said she would take care of it.
Her idea of taking care of it was me staying with her, we had never met! Granted we talked every day; in the morning, at our lunch breaks and then again at night. also there were countless text messages and emails as well, and evening chats.
I called her to task on it, what if we didn’t click, what if I was a psycho killer, so many what if. She wouldn’t back down.
If I was to come up to see her I would be staying with her and that was that.
I told her that in the event that we didn’t get along in real life that I would leave and not bother her.
The morning I was to leave was cold, much colder then the weather man had anticipated. So much colder in fact that I had left at 3:00am in the morning to be ahead of traffic and had to stop and wait for the sun to rise and warm up after only doing 75 miles. After some adjustments to my riding gear to adjust for the colder temps I was able to make some time on the road and by 3:00pm that day I was pulling into her driveway.
Needless to say the chemistry was there, what we began building in the cyber world of blogs, emails, and chat we had something that carried over to real life.
This all began one year ago today, we are still building on what we started on this day when that first email came into my inbox.
Over time, patience, trust, and the building of a mutual respect she has given me the gift of her submission. She is the masochist to my sadist, my babygirl to my Daddy, she is my world.
Most of all….I love her!