Full Circle #Relationships

By | January 4, 2015

The holidays were hectic but there was so much fun to go along with it. This was the first Christmas Kayla and I spent as a couple truly together living under one roof which made it special in and of it self.

Then there was the 12 hour road trip along the Gulf Coast and a week spent visiting family.

On the downside of all this there was little if anytime for kinky fuckery. It seemed like any time we thought there would be a quiet moment something would either come up or we would fall into bed with sheer exhaustion.

Oh we managed some US time, we had a date night where we went out for dinner and went to see The Hobbit; which was SO good. If you haven’t seen it do so.

Last night we did manage to work in some play time and I picked up a flogger and had some sun, form all that came a talk between Kayla and I how we need to work in more play time and just make it a priority.

There is also my sister; who is still responding well to her chemo treatments. She is slowly beginning to realize things about her cancer one of which is that she may not be able to return to work and she will have to be on some type of chemo for the rest of her life to keep her cancer at bay.

That leads me to some thoughts about family.

My father is here, he will be here for almost a month and he is staying with my sister. That gives me a bit of a break with taking her to her treatments and appointments.

Yesterday we celebrated my fathers birthday. It had me a bit stressed prior to the event.
My dad and I have always had a bit of a strained relationship. To say it’s complicated would be putting it mildly. I am the oldest and the only boy with two younger sisters. My sisters are daddy’s girls, more was always expected of me and no matter what I couldn’t live up to it. I gave up trying to be anything in his eyes at some point and at that time I was then able to live life for me.

So to say the least there was some trepidation on my part on what would be along with the fact that it would have been the first time Kayla will be meeting him.

When we arrived there was already a house full of people, my sisters, niece’s nephews, great-niece’s, etc. L’s  house is not the biggest and with all the people there it seemed even smaller and needless to say chaos abounded.

There was to be brats and burgers cooked on the grill and as is the norm no one checked the grill to make sure it had enough gas, the tank was empty.

I took the bulls by the horn and delegated my youngest sister to go get another tank, when they returned I hooked it up and took charge of the cooking.

I was still a but nervous about how my dad would receive Kayla; he welcomed her with open arms giving her several hugs and even telling her that he would help the boys lean how to ride their bicycles.

The biggest shock or reconciling for me came after we ate and I was in the backyard making sure the grill was turned off and the gas valve shut.

I heard his voice behind me.

“She (L) doesn’t look good yet you say she looks better then she was.”

“L looks much better then she did”

“I can’t even begin to imagine what she must have looked like or what she was going through.” he said.

L and my dad had talked on the phone together over the course of her diagnosis, but this had been the first he actually has seen the toll it has taken on her.

Then he dropped the bomb:

“I couldn’t have done it: do what you did, see her day after day. To have seen her so weak that she couldn’t stand or walk. It would have broken me, I don’t know how you did it but I’m glad you were there for her.”

I was stunned, I couldn’t believe I had heard the words he spoke. It took a bit for them to sink in. This from the man who had never hesitated to tell me how weak I am, that I would never be like him.

Still unable to speak I simply nodded.

It wasn’t until much later that night after I got home I was able to sit and process the conversation.