The New Normal #CancerSucks

By | June 2, 2015

Nothing sexy or hot to see here today, not even some wise words of wisdom that talk about the wonders of living a D/s lifestyle with a lovely submissive.

If you want that you can either go here Kayla Lords or here Whispers in the Dark.

Sorry but this is going to be a bit of a tired rant and/or an unloading.

As most of you all know I am Kayla’s Dom/Daddy, we have lived together now for the past year and we have accomplished so so much in that time.

I’ve needed a haircut, badly as I have put it off over the course of the last several weeks. I was looking shaggy and my beard was looking scruffy. Last night things looked good and I decided to stop on my way home after work.
I had no sooner sat down in the barber chair and she had put the apron on me then I heard my phone ding.

I had her stop so I could check the message, it was my youngest sister A, she was on her way to L’s house as she needed to go to the hospital. A had just left her house and I knew I had just enough time; telling the barber to go ahead with the cut.

Once she was done I texted A back and she was almost to L’s house so I called to find out what hospital she was taking L to. Once I had that info I told her I would meet her there. Then calling Kayla I filled her in on what was happening and what I was doing.

I got there way ahead of them and I waited.

When they pulled up I met them at the door and got L registered, they took her immediately into triage, then ushered her to an exam room.
She looked terrible, she was almost to weak to walk. When they took blood she held me hand as even the rubber tourniquet hurt her.

I noticed her stomach was distended and asked her about it. She said she thought she had a UTI.  At that the nurse sent her off for a urine sample as well. Then she was wheeled out for an x-ray.

At that point I went out to tell A what was going on.

By the time I got back to the room she was back as well as the blood and urine results. Blood work was good, her normal was alright, white cells good and platelets were passable. The low number for her was what was causing the nose bleeds as her blood isn’t clotting like it normally should. Urine test showed no UTI either.

Last we waited on the x-ray and the Dr. came in a few minutes later to update us on that. The view showed some cloudiness on her right lung, which ended up translating to her having mild pneumonia.

So a script for antibiotics and they saw no reason to keep her in the hospital. We got her loaded back in the car and A headed off to take her home.

I called Kayla and let her know what was up and to have some hot food ready for me when I got home. No sooner was I 4 miles form the hospital when it started raining. Even with putting on my rain gear I arrived home like a drowned rat; I’ve yet to find rain gear that can stand up to FL rain storms.

This is the new normal, I have control over what happens in Kayla and my life…this I have none, zero, nada, zilch. It is infuriating to say the least.
I also know what happened last night is just the tip of the iceburg. There are more of those nights/Days coming.

I’m a fixer and this I am helpless to fix.

There is SO much that is fubar’d about this whole situation and it is frustrating on So many levels.

I see that L as nearing a point that she can’t be alone much longer, what happened yesterday was not good.

The rainy season is coming here where I live and there will be more wet rides on my bike as I don’t have a car.
Last year before all this came about I was job hunting, had several promising interviews. My current job while stable does not pay well; at all.

With helping Kayla get her writing off the ground it has sucked up most of my pennies. My intention was to get a job paying what someone of my experience and expertise should be. When L’s diagnosis came about that ended as the one thing my current job does offer is GENEROUS time off. Time that I now need to be available for her.

L no longer has a car as when my mom was with her she was in an accident with it and L’s car was totaled. It was shortly after that mom walked out on L leaving her without any transportation.  My mom is about to have corrective back surgery on the insurance’s dime and yet my sister has not yet seen a penny towards getting her car replaced. (the accident was someone else’s fault)

Kayla has been more then great through all this, she has stepped up to the plate when it really wasn’t her’s to do. She fills in and takes L to a good deal of her Dr. appointments, blood work, and pump removal, etc.

What really bothers me about all this is when I was young, I wasn’t a good person. I drank like there was no tomorrow, I never ate right…always on the run;  7-Eleven hotdogs and Twinkies were a staple for me. Cigarettes and cigars were smoked with impunity never being with out one or the other; having smoked my first cigarette at the age of 11. I smoked pot constantly, I’ve dropped acid, done peyote and mushrooms.
On Friday nights I would go out and eventually end up back home sometime on Sunday.

Yet me, I’m healthy as a horse. L who never smoked a day in her life, has never done any drugs, never drank, and has always eaten healthy has to deal with this.

Seems a bit screwed up if you ask me.