By | May 28, 2014


As Dominants we do many things that our subs allow us to do, as masochists to our sadism we embark on a journey of both mind and body. In the D/s aspect we again use our power to lead and guide as best we can, growing ourselves and learning as much as a sub does. In doing this we delve in the deepest darkest places that in some cases have never seen the light of day in a subs mind.

We dust off cobwebs in their mind shining a light and guiding them along a path. This journey we take them on is not always of a sexual manner but also one of self discovery and growth. For some it is behaviour modification where a Dom moulds and shapes them. Other times it is as simple as giving them structure and stability.

In doing this we delve in the deepest darkest crevices of their minds, we poke, prod, nudge, and explore. For the most part it is a harmonious trip one that brings each in their own way happiness; for a sub a peace of mind they have been seeking with the right person, for a Dom the feeling that they are leading and being given the love and devotion of a submissive. When we dig in a subs mind like this it is the closest we can come to a Vulcan mind meld.

While it is and can be a wonderful thing we also need to remember to tread lightly as we are also walking in a minefield. One filled with hidden traps and triggers that may have lay hidden for a very long time. It is our responsibility as Dom’s to keep an awareness that these triggers or land mines exist and at some point and time will be exposed.

When one of those land mines are triggered we need to be aware and ready to deal with what comes. It is a part of the responsibility we signed up for when we took on a sub. We as Dom’s are our subs emotional homestone, their rock and in these instances we need to be more so then ever. We need to be there to help them emotionally process the feelings and fears that have been uncovered and brought to the light of day.

Are you willing as a Dom to hold your sub while they cry uncontrollably for several hours?
Are you willing as a Dom to listen to your sub as they ramble on trying to put into words feelings and emotions that lay dormant and hidden for years?
Are you ready as a Dom to hear about things they may be ashamed of and have never shared with anyone?

Being there for your sub at this time is like a form of aftercare, rubbing a salve on an open sore that just had the scab ripped off of.

We Dominants we love the gift of submission our subs have given us and are thrilled when we have our fun with a flogger or tie our sub up with rope and any other such thing as we may enjoy. The truth of what we do goes far beyond that and we are bound to be there not only for the fun times but when things can and invariably will go wrong as well.