It seems that vanilla perception of the BDSM lifestyle has been a recurring theme in my day. For me it actually began yesterday but has carried over into today when I saw a post by Cinn then a discussion in a forum I am a member of.
What happened yesterday has been niggling my brain and was further pushed forward by these other two posts/discussions.
In a round about way flowing from one tangent to the next a conversation led into to a talk regarding 50 Shades of Grey between myself and two co-workers who are very vanilla. Now I have shared my own thoughts about the book and while I am not fond of it there are many that see it as a way to bring our lifestyle to public view.
Now I will, say that my lifestyle choices are not known at work and I prefer it that way. Due to the nature of where I work and what I do it is best to keep things that way.
As I listened to them discuss the book and the upcoming movie I didn’t totally disagree with them. Until it turned into a generalization of all the people involved in the lifestyle.
“They must be sick people that they do nothing but constantly have sex.”
“How degrading to women that the men expect them to be sexually available to them all the time.”
“What they do is abusive.”
I listened as they rambled on, finally I made a point to interject.
“Remember the book is fiction, erotic fiction at that and if it didn’t sensationalize things and have drama, etc, it wouldn’t sell.”
They nodded in agreement and things pretty much wound down from there and shortly after that everyone went their own way and the conversation was put to the way side.
Fast forward about an hour, co-worker 1 who is the newbie of the group had made his way to his training which then left me with co-worker 2.
The door swung open and our boss walked in with a cart loaded with two computers. He explained to us that they had been recovered by the police in an investigation and they needed to have a new Windows system installed on them as they were evidence from a case involving porn.
Co-worker 2 and I told him no problem and he went on his way. I took the desktop computer and he took the laptop. The conversation fell to how could someone be so stupid as to put porn on their work computer, etc. We were also curious as to what was on the said computers.
Slightly intrigued we thought to have a quick peek before reinstalling the computers.
Our minds were quickly changed as we unpacked them from the evidence bags we read what had been labeled on the bags. The computers had been held as evidence and what was on them involved kids.
My stomach turned, I told co-worker 2 that we would be doing a a secure wipe of the drive before we reinstalled anything on the computers.
Then came the kicker.
Co-worker 2 piped up “This is the kind of crap those sick people who live the 50 Shades kind of life are into.”
I fell silent, the bile rose in my throat. I had to take a few deep breaths to compose myself.
It took me a minute or two to gain control of my emotions but I also knew enough was enough. Something had to be said.
“Look, I told coworker 2 ” I happen to know a number of people who life the BDSM or 50 Shades life as you call it.”
“They are nothing like what the book portrays” “Sex is not what it is all about, there is way more to it then that.”
“The thought of something like this sickens them as much as it does you and I.”
“If they thought that someone was hurting a child in anyway shape or form they would would hamstring them in a heartbeat.”
He looked at me in silence for a moment, nodded his head and said, “I don’t personally know anyone that lives a life like that so I don’t, it may well be what you say it is.”
I know co-worker 2 well enough to not out myself to him, it would be a disaster.
My heart rate had finally began to calm down and we started the task at hand with the computers.
I know that 50 Shades has brought some people to be curious about this lifestyle, this time though I saw first hand what was thought when the pendulum swung the other way.