I had a very interesting chat with someone the other day about whether I have rules and protocols that babygirl must follow. To which I replied why yes I do.
This led to another question as to whether I appreciate the tasks she does for me.
I didn’t even hesitate in the least little bit and I told them of course I do.
Which was promptly followed by another question; Do you tell them or do you only tell them when they don’t perform their tasks or they are done wrong?
Again I didn’t even have to think about this as I do thank her and tell her that I appreciate the tasks and rules she does and follows for me.
Yes, she is my submissive, yes I put rules and tasks in place that she must follow, and yes she does a very good job at following them, even to the point of being upset when something happens and she can’t follow them to the letter.
Now while it is in a submissive’s nature to want to serve and many of them crave the structure a Dominant puts into place it doesn’t mean that they should only be called out when they do wrong. I often tell little flower thank you for the things she does. Most notably when she brings me my evening coffee and kneels to give it to me; I will gladly tell her she is a good girl and I am grateful to have her.
A submissive’s nature to give and serve is a well, one that a Dominant drinks deeply from when a sub offers them their submission.
That doesn’t mean it is a bottomless well.
If treated improperly or with disdain that well can and will run dry.
Say you have a rule in place that your sub must send you a picture each day. Each day they send you a picture as instructed, then comes they day they are in a hurry or something happens and they miss a day. You call them out on it, even punish them (which they should be)
Think about it though what about all those times they DID send you that picture..did you thank them? Did you say “good girl”?
When they bring you your favorite drink in the evening or cook you your favorite meal did you tell them how you appreciate how well they take care of you?
subs love to serve but it doesn’t mean they should go unappreciated.
Submission is given to you when a sub deems you worthy of their trust and honoring their submission.
Day after day of fulfilling those tasks depletes their well, letting them know when they do a good job goes a long way in filling their well back up.
Telling your submissive thank you, you did a good job, or telling them they are a good girl or boy when they do their tasks doesn’t make you less of a Dom. If anything it makes you a better person AND a better Dom.
When your sub performs a task for you tell them they did a good job. Watch and listen how they react, some will coo, others may purr with delight, see that sparkle in their eyes knowing they did well in their service.
A little gratitude goes a long way in refilling a subs well of giving.
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