Her Power

By | March 17, 2014

It’s been a while I know, I haven’t fallen off the face of the earth but I have been busy, very busy on many different fronts. To say I have been burning the candle on both ends is to put it mildly. How many ends can a candle have? Seems like way more then two in my case.

I have set a goal for Kayla and I to be together and I am moving towards that goal. This past weekend I took a major step forward. It was a lot of work but it was well worth it as a major and I mean major bite of the elephant was taken this past weekend. Granted I spent a good part of the day Sunday, well okay all of the day Sunday recovering from Friday and Saturday, and some seasonal allergies; but I would do it all over again for what I was able to accomplish.

Last Saturday Kayla wrote a post for Scene Mag and she highlighted it on her site called The Power I Possess

The post brought about some interesting discussion on her blog and I was brought into it even in my absence. Not in a bad way mind you but in asking my thought on a certain aspect of it.

Kayla made mention of something in the aspect of me being a man, a Dominant, a Daddy, and even the Beast. I wear all those hats at any given time and in some case simultaneously. It can be a balancing act of walking a blade at times; knowing which one she needs more then the other. There lies the factor of communication and listening to her, hearing what she needs by the tone of her voice. For us at this time though I mainly have to rely on the tone of her voice and her inflections.

If two people are together on a regular basis then you can also go by body language. There are times she will respectfully ask me for what she needs and I will either give it to her or not.

One of the things that came up in the comments that pertained directly to me is that I like to be touched by her. This is true, very true. It comes from several different things in my life.

Before I go into that though I want to say this, each D/s relationship is different. Each D/s pairing is shaped by different protocols, different rules, different people. When done right the negotiating of the D/s is done and each knows what to expect and what they want/need will be fulfilled by the rules and protocols of the relationship.

If a babygirl is in a relationship with a slave Master it won’t work. If a slave is in a relationship with a Daddy Dom someones needs will not be met and it will be hard to maintain a balance.

Now for many years I was in a long term relationship that among other things had a very serious lack of touch. For me touch was/is important. Touch to me is an affirmation of love, of commitment. This was something expressed in a book called the The Five Languages of Love by Gary Chapman. Each person has their own language for some it is gifts, for others it is affirmations, quality time, or acts of service.

Kayla loves expressing herself to me by touch and I revel in it. We hold hands, we sit next to one another on the sofa watching movies, when in the car she will rest her hand on my leg, or she will be kneeling at my feet with her head in my lap, or at times even enjoying laptime; curled up in my lap while I hold her.

So yes, for her I allow her to touch me as she wishes, she has that power. Yet even that semblance of power can be fleeting as she found out once. For her a punishment as bad as death is to NOT be allowed to touch me.

Does she hold power over me as she talked about in her blog?
Oh yes without a doubt, she knows that she can awaken and stir different aspects of me and know what will do it at any given time. Do I give her rein to see what she will do with that power? Oh indeed there are times I do. In those times I watch, listen, observe her. Oh don’t get me wrong I also am awash in the feelings she brings out in me, but I am also aware.

There are times she is amazed at my self control as I taunt and tease her, awakening her and bringing her to the brink of need and her doing the same in me. What amazes her though is at any given moment I can end it and leave her in need, wanting, aching, and desirous.

She also knows that when she does that at any given that semblance of power will be taken from her in a heartbeat and turned around on her and she is fully aware of the consequences. Other times it can also backfire on her as I don’t always give into her desires as she found out one time when she misbehaved; acting on impulse and impatience with me. She was very surprised by the results when she found herself no longer indulged.

Is the power exchange different being we are in a Daddy Dom/babygirl dynamic, yes. In some ways I am more indulgent with her say then a Master would be with a slave. That being said treating Kayla as a slave would not fulfill her needs as who she is.

But then for me I like her sassy side, she knows I like it and there are times yes;  she pushes the line a bit, all it takes from me is a raise of the eyebrow or a simple word in the right tone and she knows she is pushing things a bit to far and backs down.