Be Realistic

By | September 22, 2013


When I first got my flogger and tried it out on little flower it was very tempting with a new toy in hand to really have at it and and see what it could do.
I held my hand as I knew it was the first time she had experienced a flogger.

Before even using it on her I let her handle the flogger, see what it felt like in her hand, showed her the way to swing it so she knows first hand how it should be done.

Once she was over the bed I picked out some music, a Linkin Park,ย Living Thingsย  album. The music has a good beat without being to much over the top.

I began working the flogger in a slow figure 8 until I was swinging it in time to the beat of the music, I kept this up occasionally switching hands. From practicing on a pillow I was able to switch the flogger from hand to hand with out missing a beat.

Now I kept up a steady rhythm to the beat of the music playing and it helped keep me going.

Did I keep the same rhythm throughout?


A number of times in between I either picked up speed or intensity. She picked up on the change immediately by either squirming and/or giving a slight squeak.
Never did she safe word.

We played like this for a good 45 minutes until the music stopped playing, once the music ended so did I.
Really I was surprise when the music stopped as it didn’t seem to be that long, I had lost track of time. That was another good reason to have some music cued up.

Once I had her sitting up and gave her some water and she drifted back down enough to talk, we discussed what had gone on.

she was in sub-space although not very deeply.
I asked her what she thought about her first experience with a flogger.
she liked it, she liked it a lot.

she described it as getting a massage with a bunch of leather strands, except when I picked up speed and/or intensity, then there was more of a sting.

I asked if she would be willing to have the flogger used on her again a some point.
she loved the idea, so much so she even named the flogger.

The point here being, for her first time with a flogger I made it a pleasurable experience. I managed to find just the right mix, not going to soft yet not to hard either.
Oh her ass was red to be sure and when we played at the club later I picked it up a bit.
What I didn’t do was go full out on her with it leaving her ass a blistered mess the first time out.

I left her not only liking it but wanting more, giving us something to build on.

So yes, when done right not only will they like it but it will leave them wanting more.

16 thoughts on “Be Realistic

  1. Christina Mandara

    Leave them wanting more…. and that’s exactly how it should be done. Yummy post and great choice of music!

    1. southerns Post author

      little flower was surprised that I even knew who Linkin Park is let alone that I have all their albums. Next time I’m thinking maybe some Lacuna Coil.

  2. Cheeky Minx

    I’ve never had a lover use a flogger on me – they all seem to prefer their hands. And I’m not arguing with that delectable treat. But… this may need to change since you make it sound so deliciously tempting…

    1. southerns Post author

      I like my hand as well, using ones hands makes it very personal. A flogger when done right has it own merits. Hmmmm am I opening new doors for you to explore Minx ๐Ÿ˜‰

      1. Jennifer

        love, Love, LOVE the flogger! My all-time-number-one-top-of-the-list toy to use! And Florentine?? *wipes up the drool*.
        I love thuddy and I’ve played to the point where I’ve actually asked for stingy – it was that good and they took that much time building me up – wicked awesome!
        Gotta love sensual sadists who come down to our level and build us up to theirs *changes my Sham-WoW* LOL

        This was a terrific read, Southern Sir – enjoy your journey!

        1. southerns Post author

          Thanks for stopping by and commenting Jennifer. I think that is the whole thing about the flogger, it can be thuddy when you want and it can pack a stingy wallop is desired. That is the key, they took the time to build you up to it. Made it enjoyable and made you want more and that is what it is all about. Granted there are some who want the sting right away, but that is what they want. Each has their own levels but done right it can be fun for all.

          1. Jennifer

            That’s the trademark of a good dominant, Southern Sir; being able to know what is needed and doing such.
            Of course, there will be times when it is done strictly for the dominant but even still, (hopefully) they will do a bit of a warm up (once had an Owner that used a cane without a warm up … that relationship didnt last long) ๐Ÿ˜‰
            That’s why relationships last when there is a commonality – hard limits and other shared beliefs make for a great relationship – a lasting one.
            I always worry about those who are new to BDSM and how they rush in wanting what they read in books – even *knowing* it’s fiction (shakes head)
            Ah well, I’m getting off topic ๐Ÿ˜›
            On topic – you introduced something new to Little Flower and she enjoyed it. I always say try something twice before you say ‘no’ – sometimes the mindset wasnt ready for the play, or it was a learning experience for you both. Work the kinks out, try it again and maybe even one more time before making that decision.
            for example: I hated fire play the first time – looOOooved it the second.

          2. southerns Post author

            little flower and I talk a lot, I listen to what she is saying and take that into account. I also know she is fairly new to BDSM and there are things she has not experienced. I understand about you not being with that Owner that used a cane straight out. I have used a cane on little flower twice now but it was always the last thing used after she was well warmed up.

            Since being with little flower we each have introduced new things to each other, a common growth. Just the other day she asked about using a gag in the future, that was something that was originally off the table with her when we first began talking to one another.

            Jennifer I agree with you 100% about people rushing after reading the romantic fiction in regards to BDSM, they have no idea the potential to get hurt if they don’t know what they are doing. I’m glad to see the local community meeting this head on by having open meetings for newbies and even at the munches having very frank discussions about the lifestyle to educate people.

  3. mala

    Well that sounds lovely! ๐Ÿ˜‰ I’m not a painslut or masochist, but “a massage with a bunch of leather strands” doesn’t sound at all bad ๐Ÿ˜‰


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